Traffic report of weirdness

Humour

Traffic report of weirdness

Lowest quality high-popularity articles – Who is reading this stuff?

Writing humourous articles about Wikipedia is easy because a lot of things are pretty ridiculous. We're thinking of inane talk pages that contain 247 archived discussions of exactly what size an image should be or the message that appears right above the editing window when we try to add a picture of our cat to the cat article. If you don't believe the following pageview numbers, just check the edit histories themselves.

This report on stub traffic is probably generated every day. Since we don't know how to give attribution to a bot, we can all just blame the bot's keeper for the creation of this traffic report. We have done our best to explain the unexplainable. Our theory is this: Indians read Wikipedia in far greater numbers than readers from other English-speaking countries. We have concocted multiple theories. Maybe these articles are viewed because the subjects recently ~~passed away~~ died. Only a few articles mentioned the mortality of their topics. We have never heard of any of these people listed below except Jimmy Connors, but the bot made a mistake on that listing. We are anticipating a travel grant to attend Indian cricket games to research these and similar topics.

Last updated: 2018-02-06 03:24 (UTC)
Weekly page views as of: 2018-02-03

Rank	Article	Status	Views	Very Deep, insightful and scholarly critiques, notes. incredulous statements, and comments
1	Mel Metcalfe	Stub	108,209	Those Germans again! They templated this page to tell us that their article is better. There are exactly 19 words in the lead. This is barely a stub and should be moved to the English or German Wiktionary.
2	Jason Sangha	Stub	55,952	A Punjabi Jatt Sikh cricket player. Obviously he has a lot of fans. Just imagine a simultaneous convention of these folks at the same place and time as Wikimania 2018. The Wikimedia cricket team could play the Fans-of-Jason-Sangha team and surpass the number of viewers who watched the (US) superbowl. As impossible as this sounds, just remember the premise of this Signpost article-the impossible happens all the time.
3	Ihana Dhillon	Stub	48,832	At least this Indian actress is backed up by eight references that prove she exists.
4	Tamil Rockers	Stub	45,904	Half of the two references is from a spammy blog. Unfortunately the blog discussion is closed and you aren't able to leave comments. This anonymously-run company(?) seems to have filled the role of a type of film-Napster in the state of Tamil Nadu.
5	Kamlesh Nagarkoti	Stub	42,499	Pick up some new SAT words from this article like subedar, and crores. My favorite reference is this:^[1] ^ "'I sat inside the washroom when my bidding was on'". ESPNcricinfo. Retrieved 2018-02-09.
6	Justin Herwick	Stub	41,628	The page view numbers have got to be wrong. There are 23 words in the lead. One theory is that his mom owns 25 laptops that continually refresh the page all day and all night long. He has one 2002 reference. He recently organized an undocumented Art and Feminism edit-a-thon but since no one learned to edit, they sat around eating pizza and installed a page-refreshing app on their desktop that helped build up the page view numbers.
7	Isabella Gomez	Stub	40,893	This actress is probably astoundingly gorgeous. We are pretty sure that readers come to her page to see if they can lift an Commons image of her to put up in their locker at school. How can +40,000 people read this and not correct the grammar?
8	Ollolai	Stub	39,399	This is absolutely impossible. I don't know exactly how many people live in this commune (which may mean city in Italian) but each of the 45 residents must also have 200 continuously looping laptops that refresh the page every half second. Bots have made half the edits to this stub and it is still there. Absolutely even MORE astounding is that this stub exists in the following language Wikipedias: ^{Aragonese, Armenian, Basque, Bulgarian, Catalan, Cebuano, Chinese (Min Nan), Chinese, Dutch, Esperanto, French, German (those Germans again), Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Kazakh, Latin (who speaks this again?), Lombard, Malay, Neapolitan, Persian, Piedmontese, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Sardinian, Serbian, Serbo-Croatian, Sicilian, Spanish, Tagalog, Tarantino, Ukrainian, Uzbek, Venetian, Volapük, Waray}
9	Ishaan Khatter	Stub	36,663	You remember him, right? He starred in Vaah! Life Ho Toh Aisi! in 2005. Two of the editors that helped edit this stub have since been blocked but their legacy lives on.
10	Jen Selter	Stub	35,653	Look! We can cram the whole article in this little box: "Jennifer Leigh "Jen" Selter (born August 8, 1993) is an American Internet celebrity and fitness model. She attracted significant media attention for her coming out at a young age, initially on the photo-sharing website Instagram." A direct reference and link to Instagram is provided that proves this.
11	Jimmy Connors	Stub	35,224	This is not a stub but obviously the bot messed up. Maybe the bot 'wishes' it were a stub.
12	Richard Gregson	Stub	33,770	What a yawner. Its been a stub since 2015 and he is known for being married to Natalie Wood and making a baby.
13	Hassa bint Mohammed bin Khalifa Al Nahyan	Stub	33,079	Besides messing up the formatting of this table, this stub has no citations. She has a very long name and was married to an emir. She died unreferenced in 2015.
14	Trap music	Stub	32,645	This disambiguation page gets a lot of looks. I haven't checked this out yet, but I think readers might be looking for a rapper.
15	Milly Shapiro	Stub	31,336	Cute little theatre star. Still not sure why so many pageviews. Do this many readers follow the career of child stage stars? I don't think I want to know the answer.
16	"Hot Sex"	Stub	31,253	This is not what you think or was hoping it would be. All 31,253 readers were all thinking the same thing as you are now.
17	Gully Boy	Stub	31,241	A future Indian film starring a whole bunch of blue-linked people. I wonder how many pageviews they get?
18	Lists of deaths by year	Stub	31,161	This article proves that no one has died before 1987. Based upon the Recent deaths article I can actually believe the pageviews of this list page, it really isn't a stub.
19	Aryaman Birla	Stub	30,641	Indian cricket players have a lot of stubs.
20	Neelima Azeem	Stub	30,325	Movie star with one reference.
21	UFC on Fox: Poirier vs. Gaethje	Stub	29,047	Another article about something that hasn't happened yet. I can tell you that at least 29,000 people are really, really looking forward to this. It also contains a template that is three times longer than the article itself. The articles listed in the template no doubt lead to at least 300 other stubs on wrestling-and again, you should know this sport is NOT faked.
22	Pierre Aubameyang	Stub	28,769	Finally! A popular soccer player. One reference but I think everyone in his family has an article. I checked the article on one of his kids – Suprise! not a stub. At least you would think his kids would be stubbier and have more pageviews.
23	Takeoff (rapper)	Stub	27,769	We LOVE our rappers. Imagine this: What if this rapper was an Indian cricket player, had a summer home in the commune of Ollolai, had some kids who were professional soccer players who only played in one game, starred in an obscure film, died before 2002, and was married to an emir? The Foundation's servers would be so worked up over this stub they would explode.

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20 February 2018 (all comments)

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DataflowBot's keeper here. Don't know why ORES is scoring Jimmy Connors as a stub. --Bamyers99 (talk) 18:32, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

What exactly is this list? You introduction doesn't really explain much of anything that I can figure out. Is this the most-viewed stubs? Then why call it humor and why mock the subject of most of the articles? This seems to be one of the best ways to identify articles needing improvement. Oiyarbepsy (talk) 19:24, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That is so nice of you to say. Thank you! EllenCT (talk) 06:57, 22 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Let me spell it out for you:

Bots do funny things

I can't explain much of what I found either, that is the point

Yes, these are the most viewed stubs

I don't do 'mocking' and you've misinterpreted what is written

I might be the only editor on WP who thinks I might be funny. Someone called me silly today and that is a compliment.

Best Regards, Barbara (WVS) ✐ ✉ 23:02, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Barb, I think you're hilarious, but not funny in other ways. EllenCT (talk) 06:57, 22 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you? Barbara (WVS) ✐ ✉

Very welcome; thank you for noticing. We also worked on standard scores for WP:MOSTEDITED. EllenCT (talk) 17:04, 22 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I might help out with America's Next Top Model (cycle 24) since those editors keep deleting me from the article. Barbara (WVS) ✐ ✉ 11:27, 23 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Where is our list of role models? Who do you know who can help me keep an eye on a fork of Quarry query 1337? EllenCT (talk) 20:21, 23 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It might be less obvious from the link in the column now that a new report came out, but it is exactly the machine-generated list of popular low-quality articles from 6 February. Plus humorous commentary. We at the Signpost staff do not have a sense of humor that we are aware of, but there are about 2 ~~some~~ people think Barbara does. ☆ Bri (talk) 22:35, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

More like 2^3 people, at least who I know. It could easily be in ten digits. EllenCT (talk) 04:42, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That list of popular low-quality articles is interesting. Turns out the most popular is XVideos, a pornography site (surprise!). I also noticed 2018 German Masters on the list but, sadly, that turns out not to be a pornographic site. E Eng 04:58, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For the next Signpost, you should do a collaboration with EEng.

–FlyingAce^✈hello 15:52, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, he has been asked (begged) by me to contribute. I may just create a humour article as a redirect to his talkpage. Barbara ✐ ✉ 10:04, 24 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

You want me to do a collaboration with EEng? E Eng 16:12, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, he wants you to do a collaboration with EEng. E Eng 23:43, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Is he easy to work with? E Eng 01:08, 9 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Probably not. Barbara ✐ ✉ 00:05, 4 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, who made the table sortable? Barbara ✐ ✉ 08:39, 9 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The Signpost: doing it for free since 2005.

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